Commitment-Phobia

  4.      Rogue was walking along the boardwalk keeping an eye out for her missing boyfriend.

        "Okay, let me think where that Cajun can be." she muttered to herself as she thought of all the possible places he might go to buy milk. She had tried the store closest to home, but to no avail Remy wasn't there. She had been walking for a while now and it was getting late, she was getting cold from the breeze that came from the ocean, and she was just tired of this mess she had gotten them both into.

        As she peered in all the stores that were still open, she caught sight of a man that looked like Remy by the check-out counter of a small store. Rogue walked towards the store, and as the automatic doors open for her she realized that it was her boyfriend, and he was kissing another girl!

        Rogue was utterly speechless and shocked, and she could feel tears already forming. She turned around and ran.

        ***

        "Oh shit!" Remy said as he realized that his girlfriend had just witnessed him kiss another girl. He quickly started running after her.

        "What about your milk?" the blonde cashier asked.

        "Don't need it no more!" He yelled back as he ran already out of the store.

        "Rogue! Rogue! Wait!" He shouted after her as he realized that he was really dead now.

        After sprinting as fast as he can, Remy finally caught up to her. He grabbed her wrist to stop her. She turned around to face him. All he could see was the tears that were flowing from her sad confused green eyes.

        "Let go of meh!" Rogue yelled as she pulled her wrist back.

        "Rogue. I'm sorry. Dat wasn't what it looked like." Remy started to explain.

        "So, what? You weren't kissing her?!?" Rogue snapped back angrily.

        "No. Yes. No. Fine, I was, but it's not what it seems." Remy answered as he tried to think of a good excuse.

        "Rogue. Roguey, I'm sorry." He began again as he attempted to pull her into his arms.

        Rogue immediately stepped back. "Don't touch meh! And don't 'Roguey' meh! Just shut the fuck up, Remy! Ah don't want to hear your excuses. Just let me go." Rogue answered as tears started flowing uncontrollably. She turned around and walked away from him, leaving a very sorry Remy cursing every swear word he can think of to himself.

        ***

        It's been three hours, and Remy Lebeau have been sitting by the door with flowers in his hands, waiting for his girlfriend (at least he hoped she was still his girlfriend) to return.

        Finally, the door swung open, and he rapidly stood up to greet her. As she stepped through the door, he noticed that her eyes were puffy meaning she had been crying for quite a bit, and her usually bright and sparkling eyes looked only dull and sad.

        As he was about to say something, Rogue beat him to it. "Remy, ah'm tired. Ah don't want to hear about. Ah'm going t'bed and ah suggest you find somewhere else t'sleep."

        "But Rogue, please. Remy needs t'explain." He started again not willing to give up easily.

        "Remy, just shut up. Ah said ah'm tired and ah don't want to hear it. Just respect me on this, k?" She replied as she walked away from again, and headed for the bedroom.

        He was about to start talking again, but realized that she has had enough from him today. So, he kept his mouth shout, and heard the bedroom doors slammed shut.

        ***

        The next day, Remy got up extremely early to cook up a storm. He cooked all of Rogue's favorite breakfast food. He had made scrambled eggs, bacon, and chocolate chip pancakes. He placed it all on a plate in a presentable arrangement, and on Rogue's place mat. He had put the bouquet of flowers from the night before in a vase, and set it as the centerpiece. As he heard Rogue's door open, he quickly ripped off his apron, revealing a very nice blue button up shirt with grey pants and dress shoes. He had made the extra effort to look presentable for her, hoping it will help his cause.

        Rogue emerged from her room dressed in shorts, a tank top, and a bandanna. She took one look at his smiling self and the breakfast he made, and said, "Ah'm not hungry."

        Remy's smile immediately disappeared. "But, but, you're always hungry. I know you." He managed to spit out.

        "From what you did yesterday, ah don't think you know me at all." She replied as she looked away from him.

        "C'mon chere, let's talk about it. We need to talk about it. It's all a misunderstanding." He pleaded as he walked up to her, hoping she will be willing to accept his offer.

        Rogue just looked at him in deep thought. He started walking closer and put out his right hand for hers. She looked down at his outreached hand, and then turned away.

        "Ah have t'get t' work. Ah'll see ya later." She said and headed out the door, leaving a very desperate and regretful Remy.

        "Fuck."

        ***

        It was half past six, and Rogue was half an hour late. Remy had cooked some good southern food. He had deep fried chicken, corn bread, and sweet potatoes. He knew this meal, she wouldn't be able to resist. She would have to start talking to him, one way or another. He had a feeling that tonight was his night, everything will be fixed and they will wind up being okay again.
        "Where de hell is she?" He said impatiently as he was forced to put the food back into the oven to keep it warm. The whole day, the only thing he thought was what he was going to tell Rogue. He even wrote out his explanation and memorized word by word. He was going to give her an explanation that was the truth in the most convincing manner. Remy was determined to fix their relationship at any means necessary.

        Suddenly, the door swung open, and a very oily Rogue walked in. He got up and saw that her eyes weren't as sad as they had been from before. He smiled inside, hoping this was a good sign. Rogue took one glance at him and said, "Ah'm gonna shower, we'll talk later."

        With that statement, she headed for the bathroom and Remy had the good sense not to follow.

        Fifteen minutes later, a very clean and fresh Rogue emerged from the bathroom in pink sweatpants and a black tank top. Remy had reheated the food and set it out for dinner. Rogue headed to the table and plopped down. They ate for ten minutes without saying a word. Many times, Remy had wanted to start talking but it seemed wiser for him to wait for Rogue to initiate it. The last thing he would want is for her to walk out on him again.

        Finally, she said, "Ah wanna talk."

        "Okay, let's talk. Remy will explain t'you dat it's all a big misunderstanding." He began.

        "No. Ah wanna talk. Y'll listen." She replied sternly.

        It seemed as if she had a speech planned out to, he thought. "Fine, chere. Go ahead."

        "Remy, ah know you're gonna start with how ya didn't even like the girl. She was just there. She kissed you. Same ol' excuses that ah've heard before. This time it's different though, and these excuses won't work. Before, when ah wasn't able to give you all that you needed, ah knew about your one night stands with girls ya picked up at bars. Ah remember the first few times ah caught ya, ya gave me the excuses that it was the girl's fault. Ah accepted your reasons because ah knew that you loved meh, but a man has to be a man. Ah was okay with it because ah knew it was unfair for you to be in a relationship with someone you can't touch. But since we lost our powers, ah thought now that we can be together in every way, it will solve all the problems we had before. Ah realized that ah was wrong."

        "But chere, those times didn't , weren't, I.." Remy started but got lost with words.

        Rogue took his hand and continued, "Ah know ya love meh sugah. No part of meh doubts that. And ah know that the girl you kissed meant nothing and she is not the point. The point is though, that you chose to kiss her. At first, ah really wanted to rip your head off for doing that."

        Remy thinking she meant she was going to beat him, he closed his eyes and waited for the first punch.

        Rogue let out a little laugh. "Open your eyes, sugah. Ah'm not gonna hit ya."

        Remy opened one eye to see if it was a trap, and seeing her face look calm he opened both eyes and let out a small sigh of relief.

        "Chere, if you ever need t'hit Remy for de stupidest thing he did, just do. I don't care. Anything to make dis better, I'll be willing." He replied to her and looked into her eyes to try to figure out what she was thinking. He couldn't find a definite answer.

"Ah don't think hitting you will solve anything, Rem. Ah've been scratching my head all day of what to do with this, with us. And Ah realize that the moment ya chose to kiss her, it was a sign. A sign that says maybe we're not meant to be with each other." She explained as she looked away.

        "Non! Non! Non! Dat is not true. It took us so long to get to this moment; we are not going t'let it slip away from us again. I refuse to let dat happen." Remy replied strongly as he took her chin in his hand and made eye contact with her to show the determination in his eyes.

        Rogue sighed as she looked away. "Ya already let it happen by kissing her."

        "But, let me explain. I wasn't thinking straight. I was just so caught offguard wit your question, and it just, I don't know. But it wasn't right, and I'm sorry for doing what I did. I'll do anything to make it right, let's just make this right." Remy stammered as he tries to convince her not to give up on them.

        Rogue looked deep into his eyes with her teary green ones. "Sugah, ah know ya love meh, and ah love you with all my heart, that's why we have t'do this. Don't you see? The reason you kissed her was because you still think there is something out there that could be better than this."

        "Non! Dat's not it. I'll explain. I was angry because when you said 'let's get married', it scared me. Rogue, y'know dat I'm de type who likes to just get up and go look for a new adventure. I just got scared dat if we got married, we'd have to settle down, and I won't be able to get up and search for a new adventure." Remy explained hoping this will make her realize that this was the reason he kissed the girl, not because he thought there was something better than what he had with Rogue.

        Rogue sighed heavily, and looked into his eyes as tears started to fall. "Sugah, don't ya see? You get up and go look for a new adventure all the time 'cause ya think there is something out there that is always better than what you have in the here and now. And it made me realize that it's selfish of meh to not let you go and find out if there is something better than this. We can't commit to what we have if one of us always thinks that there is something more than this. Ah know ya love meh, and ah love ya too, but ah know that you still need to explore and see all that the world has to offer. And maybe ah do too."

        "Chere, don't you understand dat I love you. I don't want to go out dere and look, I know dat dis is the best dat it gets." He pleaded with her.

        "Remy, please. We both know that this is for the best. Fine, let's just call it a temporary break then, until we can figure out if this is something we can commit ourselves fully too. Ah'm sorry that ah ever mentioned marriage and it was stupid of meh, but at the same time maybe it was meant to happen. Ah just really think we need this break. As much as ya hate t'admit it, y'know ah'm right. Y've never been in a real relationship where ya had to commit your whole being into it, and ah know that it isn't easy for you. As much as ah want the perfect ending with ya saying ya love meh and we live happily ever after, ah know ah can't let you fall into that lie if ya think there is something more out there. It'll be too selfish of meh, and ah love ya too much to not let you find what ya need in life." Rogue finished as tears started flowing.

        "Chere, I need you in my life. Do you understand? I need you in my life." Remy stated firmly as he felt tears forming.

        "Ah need ya too sugah, but you need this opportunity even more. Hey, maybe we can just try being friends y'know? We've never really been friends, and this will allow us to be that. If we wind up back together, it'll only make our relationship that much stronger." She replied halfheartedly as she turned away to try to control the tears that were falling.

        "Chere, I, you're set on dis aren't you?" Remy asked her as he finally realized that there was no changing her mind.

        Rogue just shook her head yes, still unwilling to face him.

        "Fine, Remy guess he should pack his stuff den." He replied as he got up to go start packing.

        "No." She turned around and said.

        "What do you mean, 'no'?" he asked curiously, hoping she changed her mind.

        "Ah don't know, but ah guess, it doesn't make sense that ya have to leave here. This is your home too. Ah don't want ya t'leave. Ah don't know." She replied with uncertainty.

        "Fine, chere. Remy won't go. We'll work this out, one way or another. All I know is dat we're meant t'be and if it takes time apart to wind up t'gether in de end, den it'll be dat way. I'll show you dat dere is nothing better dan dis." He replied as he took her into his arms.

        They stayed like that late into the night.

 

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