Dreams and Desires

 "Welcome home! Hope you did everything I would have done!"

"Jubilee, ah swear, you have such a dirty mind!" Tara says blushing, but smirking at the same time.

"Hey! I didn't say anything! You must have the dirty mind!"

Jubilee said in mock anger. Everyone but Tara laughed. Then Remy said, "She got you there, ma cherie!" and he laughed.

"Well Remy, hope you like sleeping alone tonight!" Tara said, going upstairs.

"Whoops, I believe you went just bit too far, Remy!"

Later, after Tara and Remy had unpacked, and Remy made profuse apologies to Tara, Professor Xavier asked to see them in his office.

"Ah wonder what this is about, Remy?"

"I don' know cherie, guess we find out now." Remy says, opening the office door.

"Rogue, Gambit, I'm going to come straight to the point, I'm putting you both on inactive status."

"What! Ah ...you can't...this is mah life... all ah have... mah family!"

"Chere, what about us an' de baby?"

"Your pregnancy, Tara, is why I am putting you on inactive status."

"Why inactive status? You only have Jean and Scott on temporary leave, in her last two months, and however long they need afterwards!"

"Tara, you know what happened to you in your first month, more complications could arise."

"They haven't yet! Ah'm fine, the baby's fine, ah know it!"

"I am sorry Tara, I believe it's for the best to put you both on inactive status."<P. "No, I'm not cherie, but de professor, he know dat my mind, it would always be on you, not on de mission. Besides, I'd rather be wit' you, mon amour."

"This isn't fair, I can protect mahself just fine!" She ran out, jerking the door off the hinges. It crashed to the floor behind her. Remy started to go after her, worried what she would do in the state she was in, but Professor Xavier asked him to stay for a few for few more minutes.

"I'm giving the two of you another gift, consider it com pensation, if you like. There is an old farmhouse in Delaware county, that has been in my family for generations. I'm giving it to the both of you. It has not been occupied since before my birth, at least, but I have kept up the basic repairs, it will only need minor work before you can move in."

"Like what?"

"Any painting , new furniture, updating the wiring, and new appliances. I will give you the money for this."

Remy nodded. Actually he was relieved the Professor did this. Remy had been having some problems with the idea of Tara continuing to go on missions while she was pregnant, and he didn't really want to be separated from her, wondering if her health or the baby's were fine. He hadn't voiced his feelings to Tara, because he knew that she would only get angry at him. At least now her anger was directed at Professor Xavier.

Remy walked back to Tara's old bedroom. The original plan had been that after the honeymoon she would go through her things, and he would go through his, and then they would share what used to be his room. His room was a little larger than hers.

Now though, they would have a whole house to themselves. Remy had to tell her about this change in plans too. As Remy neared Tara's room he could tell she was still very angry. He heard crashes and the sound of splintering wood. When he looked in the door he saw she had yanked off the bedsteads, and was in the process of breaking them into little pieces. The bed and springs lay on the floor. She gave part of the floorboard a final crack in two, then dropped to her knees, sobbing angrily. Remy came in, carefully avoiding the broken up pieces of wood tossed around the room. He kneeled down behind her and slipped his arms around her. She pushed him away, a little too hard, and he fell backward, his head hitting against a piece of wood, scraping his forehead against a bent nail.

Tara realized what she had done and was instantly contrite, "Oh Remy, ah'm sorry, ah'm just so angry, it's so unfair!"

"I know, chere, let's go out to the lake an' talk."

When they got out to the lake Remy told her about the house. Tara continued to tell him how unfair she thought what Professor Xavier had done was and how angry she was.

"Cherie, nothin' we can do about it until de baby's born. After dat we'll talk to him again, try to convince him then, neh?"

She didn't look at him or say anything for a long time, but then her shoulders slumped and quiet "Alright." came out. Remy heard the pain in her voice and wrapped her in tight hug. "We got each other, an' de baby now too, we make our own family, eh?"

"Yeah."

A few days later they were at the farmhouse, finishing up the rewiring and painting. Remy was worried about Tara doing most of the rewiring herself, but she told him, "I know more about rewiring than you do, so I'm less likely to get shocked."

Remy conceded this barely, maybe. She had rewired Cerebro once, or tried to, it was knowledge she learned while having Carol Danver's psyche sharing her body, she had kept that knowl edge. Trying to fix a ripped up Cerebro was something he wouldn't even bothered trying, he could shut off any security device he'd ever come across, in ways that no one could tell they'd been disabled. It surprised him that Rogue had even tried to fix Cerebro. He doubted that even Carol Danvers really knew how to fix it. Rogue's determination made her try anyway. The same determination was driving her now, Remy realized, but for a different reason. Now she wanted to prove that her pregnancy wasn't affecting her in any way. But all the same he made sure he was painting either in the same room or a nearby one. Remy was also agitated because he had finally quit smoking, and was having a rough time of it. Dieu, he craved a smoke, right now. Maybe I just sneak out for a quick one, he thought. Then he stopped himself. Non Remy, you can't be doin' that, remember thas' bad for de babies you have wit' Tara in de future. Makes dem more likely to have health problems. Not to mention what it does to me. Non I won' smoke no more, Remy told himself for the hundredth time this week.

The tension building between them finally exploded when they moved the appliances in, Tara insisted on carrying them in herself and installing them herself. Tara got irritated at his "mother henning" her and told him so. Remy got mad and said "You might not care 'bout yourself or de baby, but I do!" As soon as he said it he regretted it. Tara threw down the wrench she had in her hand, and flew out the window. Remy ran out the door and jumped on his Harley, following her. When she saw him following her, she flew faster, too fast for Remy to follow on his motorcycle.

Remy knew where she was going though, and continued on the road to Westchester and the X-mansion.

When he got to the mansion, Jean Grey-Summers stepped out on the porch, with her hands massaging the small of her back, because she was only three weeks away from her due date. She told Remy that Tara was out at the lake. Tara had talked to the professor and he had refused to put her back on active status.

Remy ran out to the lake, but slowed down when he saw her, crushing rocks in her hands and crying. He hung back, uncertain whether she would want to be comforted or not. Then he decided that she would be more angry with him if she saw him just standingthere looking at her. This time though, he would announce his presence before he touched her. He didn't care to be backhanded against a tree.

"Cherie?"

"Go away."

"Non." Remy gently put his arms around Tara. She stiffened, but she didn't push him away. After a few minutes she relaxed, and turned around to face him. "It's not right, he's not treatin' us fairly, I could easily go on missions for several more months. He didn't do this to Scott and Jean, and she's going tah have twins!"

"I know, chere, but we wait, when the baby, it's born, we both ask again, maybe it go better den, neh?"

"He ain't listenin' tah me now, that's for sure."

"Let's go home, cherie, finish working on de house." He kissed her. "You ride on the back of my Harley?"

"Well, maybe, shugah." She says with a hint of a smile.

After all the interior work was finished on the house, they decided to add a first floor porch that would go three quarters of the way around the house, with the back open. Then build a gallery style porch on the second floor, that would go all the way around the house. Tara was determined to get this project done before the baby came. Remy tried to get her to take rests, but she refused to until he got Moira to insist that she take them. She still tried to sneak and not take them, though.

"Ma chere, where you be? You're supposed t' be resting in de bedroom right now."

Oh hell! Tara thought, he caught me workin' again. Ah'm fine, ah don't feel the least bit tired, an the baby ain't due for three months yet. All ah'm doin' now is paintin' the top of the gallery! It's not like ah'm lifting a truck! She muttered angerly. Then she sighed and put down the brush, and flew in the open bedroom window.

For now they were using a bedroom on the second floor, it made it easier to confine the mess to a couple of rooms of the floor they were doing outside work on. After the baby was born, though, they would move up to the third floor.

When she flew into the bedroom, Remy looked at her and shook his head, but said nothing about it. Instead he said, "Got your bath ready," and with a mix of playful desire and concern, he added, "If y' need any help jus' tell me."

She smirked at him, then turned around heading towards the bathroom, shedding clothes as she went. Remy watched her, enjoy ing the view. She knew he was looking at her. To tease him, she turned around at the bathroom door, naked, and blew him a kiss. Then she quickly shut the door, and giggled.

After the shower they sat down for lunch. Tara was starving. She ate eight bowls of Remy's gumbo, two loaves of French bread, and a half gallon of frozen yogurt. Remy stopped being shocked about the huge amount food she was eating about two months ago. She had always eaten quite a bit a meals, even more than he did if the food was good, but she stayed in good shape. Now that she was in the sixth month of her pregnancy, the amount she was consuming was enormous, yet she was only gaining the normal amount of weight for her time in the pregnancy. Remy stopped teasing her, because she'd just get angry, break some thing, then cry. He just fixed what amount of food he thought she'd want, without comment, after all she was, as dey say "eatin' f' two."

There were times, that the pleasure of being pregnant really touched her. Remy and Tara would lock eyes then, and feel like nothing else mattered. The first time she felt the baby move inside her, had been one of strongest of those moments. Over a month and half later, whenever the baby moved, if Remy was in the room, Tara's eyes would meet his, and they would share a smile.

A month before the baby was due a baby shower was held for Tara and Remy at Caleen and Toshi's house. It had been decided that they would have a nontraditional baby shower with the men coming too. Remy was happy about this, because it included him. Tara was happy about it too for the same reason. It was no surprise to Tara and Remy that the Professor didn't come. He made some sort of excuse why he couldn't come. They knew the real reason was that the Professor hadn't ever bothered to really get to know them. Almost everyone else was there, though, of the X-people that knew Tara and Remy. Plus even though they couldn't come: Logan, Tante Mattie, Margarete, and even Magneto had sent gifts. Mystique had been able to make it though. She enjoyed making almost everyone uncomfortable with her presence. Remy and Tara just shook their heads. Remy had been able to accept Mystique, eventually. In fact he found her much more acceptable than Magneto.

Mystique was now six months pregnant with a baby that Magneto was the unwitting father of. That fact amused Remy almost as much as it did Mystique.

The gifts were pretty predictable. Most of the guys there bought some sort of gadget for the baby. Except for Sam, he bought a huge box of diapers. When Tara opened it everyone but Sam burst out laughing. Tara though, after she laughed with everyone else, thanked Sam quite warmly and said, "We'll definitely need all these ah'm sure."

Jean seconded that emphatically, "That will last, if you're lucky, about one week!" Jean's twins, who were asleep in their baby carriers in the next room, were now three months old.

Sam looked surprised, "One week! I should have bought two boxes!"

That made everyone else laugh again.

The women all bought baby clothes and something for Tara and Remy to wear. They were a bit embarrassed that they hadn't had much luck finding something they thought would be appropriate for a new father, most had opted for a robe. Remy joked that he now had a whole robe wardrobe. Jubilee, though, had done something else entirely. She had carefully held her presents back until last. The baby's outfit had been nothing outrageous. A tad too neon, but nothing that the baby couldn't wear. The shirt for Tara was also a bit too wildly colored for her taste, but Tara figured she could wear it to work outside. Remy's gift though...! It was box of about 200 condoms, bright neon! As soon as Remy opened it he started laughing so hard tears were coming out of his eyes.

Jubilee shot back with,"I think you forgot those last time, maybe with them bright like that you'll be able to find them next time!"

Everyone but Tara laughed, even Remy, but his mind was busy working on some was to get her back! Everyone knew but Tara that Jubilee hadn't meant what she said to be taken as a hostile statement, but just being smart mouthed. When Tara saw even Remy was really laughing about it too she realized that. Guess ah'm just too sensitive sometimes, Tara thought ruefully.

Jubilee missed Logan, he would have been here, but he got delayed in Japan. Something had happened with his sort of foster daughter Amiko. Nothing dangerous, just something foolish she had done.

Logan had sent from Japan three Japanese kimonos. One for Remy, one for Tara, and a baby one.

Caleen exclaimed over the kimonos, she could tell they were all high quality expensive ones. Toshi and Caleen had given them Japanese style quilt. It was indigo with a white design, it was also quite heavy. Caleen explained that it was for winter, in a traditional Japanese home there wasn't much heat. Toshi had also done a large Sumie drawing of Tara and Remy. Caleen had found a beautiful frame of plain black lacquered wood with thin red stripe running around the edge, for the picture.

Seventeen days before the baby was due, Tara had a dull backache all day. She dismissed it as just the general discomfort that comes near the end of pregnancy, and said nothing to Remy. That night though, she couldn't sleep, because the baby seemed to be constantly and vigorously moving.

"Ah can't sleep Remy. Ah'm uncomfortable. It's too cold. It's colder than Westchester. There's too much snow already. Ah'm bigger than the side of a barn. The baby won't stop movin'. Mah back's been hurtin' all day-

"Let me rub your back, does that help, ma amour?"

"A little," then she gasped, as she felt a sharp pain. "Remy, the baby, ah'm gonna have it tahnight!"

"Oh hell! Don' move cherie, I get everyt'ing, I call de mansion too, but probably they not get here soon enough, glad we practiced, jus' in case de baby, it come early." Remy runs to take care of everything, but it's obvious he's in a state of near panic.

Tara got up and moved the pillows to a position more comfortable for her, then got back into bed, just as a very strong contraction hit and her water broke. She grimaced at the wet mess on the sheets, definitely have tah wash this again, and they had just changed the bedsheets this morning, she sighed.

Remy raced back in the room and helped her over to the birthing chair. That had been Ororo's gift, at the baby shower. Ororo had told them that this position was slightly less painful, and much less damaging for mother or infant, especially if the baby is born at home. Tara gripped the arm rests, which were specially designed to withstand her strength.

Remy helped Tara through giving birth to the baby, and the afterbirth. Right after their baby daughter's first whimper, Tara and Remy heard the distinctive sound of the Blackbird landing. Moira came running in, and then laughed when she saw all was well. "Your bairn was a eager one to get here, that's for sure. Now you both need rest, I'm stayin' here for a couple of days, then I want you to come down to the mansion and we'll run all the tests." Tara sighed, rest and more tests! She rolled her eyes, but answered in the affirmative.

Remy cradled his newborn daughter with tears running down his face. It was such an overwhelming experience, holding this child. A child he never expected to have, nor, he knew did Tara. They were parents, it was the most wonderful feeling in the universe. He never wanted to leave here. This child and Tara were all he needed. Right he didn't care the slightest that he wouldn't be an active member of the X-Men. The baby in his arms and the beautiful lady, his wife, who he loved with all his heart, that had just givin birth to this baby were all that mattered.

Tara reached out her arms for the baby. He lay their daughter, now snuggled in a baby blanket in Tara's arms. Tentatively she touched her daughter's nose, then smiled when all that happened was that the baby moved her head and tried to suck her finger, then wailed when she got no milk.

Moira let out the breath she had been holding, the child had indeed inherited her father's anti-absorbing gene. The prenatal tests had indicated she had the gene and that it was already active, but there was always the tiny chance the results were inaccurate...

Tara opened her top, and gently put the baby to her breast. The sensation was amazing, she felt an incredible bond to her infant daughter at this moment. No thoughts of rejoining the X- Men entered her mind, her only thoughts were of Remy and their newborn daughter, and how happy she felt right at this moment.

Later as she watched her newborn daughter sleep, she thought about these feelings. She decided it might be good to be on inactive status, at least for the baby's first year. She remembered reading about how important it was for the parents to be with the baby those first months. Both parents, if possible.

Scott and Jean hadn't done that, six weeks after their twins were born, both had gone back to going on missions. She looked at her daughter, no way ah could leave her so quickly! Then she smiled, no way Remy could either! She didn't see how Scott and Jean could. Ah guess the X-Men are even more important than their own children. She didn't mean for her thoughts to be so condemning, but she didn't feel that it was right, now that she had held her own baby in her arms.

Kurt and Amanda had stayed on inactive status, little Mattias' whole first year. Both had, less than a year ago, gone back to active status. Now Tara understood why. Of course, immediately after they went back on active status, Mattias had become seriously ill with the flu.

Amanda had taxed her powers to the limit, saving his life. It was the same time as Tara had gone into coma, so Amanda was too exhausted to even make the trip over to Westchester, much less attempt to bring Tara out of the coma. It was all for the better both Hank and Amanda agreed, later. Tara's body needed to adjust itself on it's own. Any attempts to do something then, might have caused serious problems later on. When Tara told Tante Mattie this, she concurred, but told Tara to be careful for any problems with future pregnancies, all the same. Tara asked her how she knew about their plans to have more children. Tante Mattie just laughed, and told her it was no big guess that they would have a number of children, she could tell. She knew the both of them well enough to know what their dreams were.

 

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