24 Hours Ц3

 

There had always been something about waking that Remy had hated; yet equally, there had always been something about it that he had loved.а Waking meant getting up and facing a new day; it also meant lingering on in that soft, warm space between sleep and willful consciousness.а It was the security of such bliss that he loved; it was the knowledge that such security could not last that he hated.

 

That was the reason why he was lying there now, this ominous churning feeling in his gut.а Security was one thing, and right now there was no other place heТd rather be than in bed.а Getting up was another, and although it was the logical, rational, run-of-the-mill thing to do, for once it meant that he had a hell of a lot to lose.а This was todayТs space between sleeping and waking, and he spent it silently weighing up the cards Lady Luck had dealt him.а Queen of Hearts and Jack of Spades.а Two of Hearts and King of Diamonds.а What else was there?

 

He ruminated over it, the various combinations, until he had a stack so precarious that it could only topple over.а Why did he always come back to the damn cards?а Why?а They didnТt mean anything, just like those damned Diaries didnТt mean anything.

 

Screw the cards.а Screw the Diaries.а The decision lay with him.

 

УMerdeЕФ he muttered to himself; but still he lay there, unwilling to make up his mind.

 

а

 

He knew she was awake.

 

He could feel her wakefulness, even as she lay there in the crook of his arm; he knew too that the same hopes and fears were going through her own mind.а If only she were asleep.а If only he could get up and tiptoe away like the coward he was without her even noticing.а If only he would stop thinking of if onlyТs, because he knew that if he did happen to tiptoe away, heТd only have to take one look back into her face and heТd be running right back to her to lie by her side.

 

No Ц there was no use in mulling over it.а He had to catch that plane and he had to return to the US.а TheyТd both known the score, from the very moment they had crossed paths again.а They had known the dangers, the risks, the consequences.а They had had every chance to step away, and in the end theyТd made their decision despite knowing the price they would have to pay.а TheyТd had their one night of forbidden pleasure Ц theyТd made their choice as adults and had to accept the repercussions as adults.

 

In other words, it was a damn fine mess theyТd both gotten themselves into.

 

He sat up, slowly, and her arm fell limply from its place about his chest, landing somewhere uncertainly in his lap.а There was something unwilling in the action as she let go of him, yet something akin to a surrender.а In moving her arm she had left him free to walk away; in leaving it in his lap she had left her invitation open to him.а He looked down into her hand for a moment, hesitant.а Palm upward, fingers curled Ц an offer.а He considered accepting, reaching out for her hand with his own; but he knew he could not.а Without words he shifted sideways from under the covers and out of bed.

 

She sighed, relinquishing him, and he heard her move, for the first time betraying her wakefulness outwardly as he searched for his clothes and began to dress again regretfully.

 

УDo you have to go so soon?Ф she asked quietly from behind him.

 

УHave to get my stuff ready,Ф he explained, pulling on his shirt and doing the buttons up from the bottom. УNot to mention checkinТ out of de hotel and checkinТ in at de airport.Ф

 

УDonТt you want anythinТ to eat before you go?Ф she persisted.

 

УNo tТanks, IТll grab somethinТ on de way out.Ф

 

It was getting easier the more he talked.а Just so long as he didnТt look at her.

 

УDonТt go, Remy,Ф she said at last, after a momentary silence.а He paused, frowning.а Up until that moment everything had been going so well.а But who was he kidding?а How on earth was he supposed to just walk out of there without even making eye contact with her?а He turned, slowly.а She was still lying half under the covers, her head leaning against her hand, looking up at him beseechingly.а Dammit, day or night she was just so damned perfect Ц nothing on this godforsaken earth could change it.

 

УI canТt stay, chere,Ф he replied quietly.

 

УYou can,Ф she answered, pleading. УCancel your flight, stay with me.а At least for a couple more days.Ф

 

УI canТt cancel, not at dis short notice,Ф he explained, as calmly as he was able despite the agony her distress was causing him. УBТsides, I got commitments to keep, tТ de Guilds.а I canТt let them down.Ф

 

УIs it so important?а Please, Remy, just a few more days, soТs we can finally just sit down anТ work this outЕФ

 

УRogue,Ф he interrupted her, before regretting the cutting note to his tone.а He sighed and walked over to the edge of the bed, took her hands in his. УRogue, you knew dis had to happen.а We both did.а We gotta accept dis like adults.а I canТ stay, not now.а ItТs too soon, anТ dereТs too much at stake.Ф

 

УThen at least let me go with you tТ the airport,Ф she replied, searching his eyes. УLemme see you off.Ф

 

He hesitated before answering. УNo, chere.а IТd rather you didnТt.а ItТll just make tТings worse.а IЕI donТ wanna be leavinТ you, chere.а Please donТ make tТings any harder than dey are already.Ф

 

УAh love you,Ф she said, her eyes filling. УAnТ you want me tТ stay here and watch you walk outta that door without me havinТ said a proper goodbye?а It ainТt fair, Remy!а Ah love you!Ф

 

He squeezed her hands, willing her not to cry, not for him and not for them.

 

УRogue, mon coeur, bТecause oТ last night, I finally got round tТ figuring somethinТ out.а The futureТs blank, chere.а AinТt such a tТing as destiny.а The futureТs what we make of it.а ThatТs why you saw nothinТ for us.а BТcause we ainТt written it yet.Ф He released a hand, gently reached out to stroke her cheek. УAnТ thatТs why IТm gonna come waltzinТ back for you, chere.Ф

 

She looked at him Ц sudden hope sprang into her eyes. УYou will?Ф

 

УYes.а When everythinТs sorted in Nawlins, IТll come back for you, I promise, chere.Ф

 

He leaned in, kissing her softly; but in both their hopeless desperation they reached out for one another, remembering, knowing; what was intended to be tender became a thing of passion, and for a short time he would have abandoned all resistance and climbed back into her eager arms.а But even as the kiss ended they both knew that their minds had been made up, and she sighed, looking into his face intently, rubbing the back of her hand across his cheek.

 

УDonТt keep me waitinТ too long, cajun,Ф she murmured.

 

УI wonТt,Ф he assured her, running his hand through her hair one last time, looking into her eyes, imprinting that last image into his mind lest he should ever forget it.

 

He stood up.

 

No cards, no diaries, no fate, no destinyЕ

 

а

 

It was easier then to walk out that door.

 

*

 

<< эрчрф а

 

Endnote:а The end.а Well, not actually Ц I did write another СepisodeТ, but kinda ran out of steam on that because it was getting way too cliched (well, more than it already was anyways ;).а So you can decide whether the Remster manages to do right by Rogue or not J

 

BTW, I was very pleased to showcase my beloved London in this piece.а All the places used in this fanfic are real places.

 

Oh, and the moral of this story is Ц donТt drink wine when an ex-boyfriend comes to stay.а Drink responsibly.а Okay? IТm not kidding.

 

Okay, IТm kidding really. But if you can discover the real moral of the story, I shall be suitably impressedЕ:)

 

[Remy: There are morals in dis here story???

 

Ludi: Shuddup!]